The initial stages of infatuation are addictive. Colours appear brighter, your lover’s voice sounds musical, you call their ‘habits’ quirky and he/she makes your heart race.
However, once the relationship unfolds and you realise he/she is simply human with a mind of their own, the relationship gradually becomes more nuanced. Some of us revel in the changes and support comes easily however some of us are unable to deal with the complexities of it all. It is then that we consider the options of terminating the relationship.
Did you know that the most common time for breakups is around three to five months?
Before you make a hasty decision, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Am I happy in this relationship?
Never stay in a relationship because you feel obligated to. Never compromise your own happiness and self worth. If you aren’t happy, you have every right to disclose your feelings to your partner. Try expressing what is bothering you about the relationship and have a mature discussion with your partner. If no compromise/solution was reached and if you still feel dissatisfied then you should probably terminate the relationship.
2. Am I in love with the idea of my partner or actually in love with them?
If you can’t say with absolute certainty that your really love your partner, then you owe it to them to tell them your true feelings. If you do not communicate this, you will be enabling a false relationship which is detrimental to both of you.
Remember this, if you can’t love the person as they are right now, will you really love them in the future?
3. Does my partner add value to my life?
Am I able to learn and grow with my partner or does that very thought dishearten me?
A relationship symbolises the union of two hearts. Enjoy and learn to celebrate the differences. Learn from each other and enjoy the excitement of new findings and activities. If you remain disheartened and distant, you either need to reconsider this stance or get out of there.
4. Would I regret it if I didn’t end the relationship today?
Stay true to your heart. Years from now, would you be satisfied with the life you have created with your partner or would you be deeply disappointed? Are you in this relationship just because it’s comfortable and lethargic?
Can you safely say that you are excited about the future with your partner? Be frank and honest with yourself and ensure that you put you first.
5. Do we share the same dreams and goals?
Nothing is more daunting than being in a relationship when both of you are polar opposites with regards to dreams and goals. Ask yourself if you are capable of dealing with the outcome of this. Will you sacrifice for your partner and then blame them for it? Or will you expect your partner to sacrifice their goals and dreams for you? Can a compromise be achieved or is it truly irreconcilable?
If you feel that your visions for the future just don’t work well, you might need to wait for someone who shares more of your own passions.