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I’m no prude. I appreciate a naughty joke.

But there’s naughty and there’s revolting, and I fear that this year’s crop of Valentine’s cards has overstepped that line.

I only noticed how crude some of the cards were because of an online ad for a card company. The picture was a Valentine’s card with a unicorn and a terrible joke about its horn. It’s the sort of thing Mary Whitehouse would probably have tried to ban.

Upon further investigation, I have to say I’m with Mary. I visited a couple of card websites and my sensibilities swelled.

I can’t describe many as they’re so vulgar they’d make Donald Trump blush.

But imagine your beloved sending you a card which had an expletive-laden proposition on it. You’d dump them on the spot. And quite possibly report them to the police.

My eye fell on a pink card illustrated with a very basic anatomical drawing. A three-year-old might have daubed it with his finger at nursery school.

The caption read: ‘These are the only reasons I love you’. And I don’t want to be too po-faced about this, but really? In 2018?

I went into a store and the situation was, if anything, worse. ‘I WANT YOU (to do the washing up)’ said one card. Another: ‘You’re the world’s okayest boyfriend’. What’s going on, card retailers?

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It’s as if you’ve all designed your cards in the pub after too many beers. There’s no wit here.

Bring back the romance. Nothing wrong with Milk Tray, some tulips and a card with a heart motif.

If in doubt, remember: fair maiden’s heart was never won by a card with a schoolboy joke.