The Sims, a game where you can get your character to do everything you can’t.

Like start a concentration camp.

When I was 10 years old, I owned the original Sims game for PC, and the most creative thing I did was let a burglar into my house, then trap him inside by removing the door and subsequently setting the house on fire with my Sims and the thief still inside.

I was a very strange little boy.

The Sims series has since evolved and included many other features.

Features that allowed people far worse than 10-year-old me to do things I never would’ve thought about.

Here’s the 15 craziest, most depraved things people have done to their Sims:

1. Sacrifice to the cow-plant.

A Sims player said they had been marrying their female Sim to men and having them get her pregnant.

This would be fine, if it weren’t for the men being eaten by the Sim’s cow-plant once their purpose had been served.

If only Sims had a life insurance program.

2. The alien baby.

One player made their Sim have sex with an alien and made her husband, stepdaughter, brother, sister-in-law, and baby watch as they did the “Woohoo.”

The result of the virtual sex show was a green-skinned alien baby. Which the player burned alive, because they “didn’t want some weird green alien baby.”

3. A date with Death.

A Facebook user somehow managed to get the Grim Reaper himself to fall in love with his Sim.

The Sim had to kill someone every day so they could go on dates.

So romantic.

4. A family wedding.

A Sim wedding, like any wedding, is a family occasion. One player got their Sims married and invited everyone they knew.

The player then proceeded to make the Sims flirt and make out with everyone at the wedding. Including the family members.

5. Ahh, human milk.

One player decided to take a… unique kind of revenge on a burglar, which involved a cow-plant.

The Sim befriended the burglar and invited him back to their house, where he was eaten by the Sim’s new cow-plant. After digesting the burglar, the cow-plant then turned him into milk, which the Sim drank.

6. After genocide comes loneliness.

Simple, yet still super messed up.

One user made their Sim murder every other in their town, until there was no one else left.

The Sim was then nicknamed “Forever Alone.”

7. If you can’t take the heat…

Not unlike what I did to that burglar.

Stoves in the Sims games have a habit of catching fire. One user put four Sims in four separate, doorless kitchens, and then made them cook their hearts out until their stoves caught fire and burned them to death.

Only one Sim survived the ordeal.

8. Old-fashioned deathmatch.

A Facebook user created 8 teenage Sims, made them all enemies and put them in an arena. Then sat back and watched the show.

One of them attempted to make a snowstorm with the weather machine, but the snow turned into fire and all of them died.

9. My buddy, Grim.

One Facebook user had a mass-murdering Sim that killed so many people that the Grim Reaper had become a close friend.

He hung out with the Sim, had dinner with the family and helped the kids with their homework.

The Grim Reaper seems like a really cool guy.

10. Kids do the darnedest things.

One user had put parental control software on their Sim’s child’s computer that sent the Sim screenshots of what was being viewed every five minutes.

One week, they found hundreds of pictures of people trapped in doorless rooms; crying, standing in puddles of their own making. There were more rooms in the background that were lined with urns.

Kids, right? Gotta love ‘em.

11. Outdoor museum of death.

One Facebook user decided it would be fun to trap a bunch of Sims in glass boxes.

There were nine of them in total, and they were all placed outside, so that the neighbours could watch the Sims trapped inside wet themselves and die as they passed by.

12. The clown tormentor.

Apparently, hanging paintings of clowns in your house gets your Sim a visit from the Sad Clown.

When one Facebook user discovered this, they refused to let the clown leave, and he would torment their Sim all day.

Neither of them got any sleep.

13. A perfect family.

One player made a “perfect” family, if not for one little snag. The dad was secretly gay, and there was a house next door with 8 gay men living in it.

The dad Woohoo’d regularly with all of them, and one night the player brought them all over to the dad’s house and introduced them to his wife.

Then made them Woohoo while the wife watched.

14. Depression, insanity, death by starvation, repeat.

A Sim with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a recipe for hilarity any way you slice it.

One player made a neat freak Sim and put him in a house with a buffet of food and a pet hamster. Eventually, the food rotted away and the hamster died, causing the Sim to fall into depression, go insane over the mess, and die of starvation.

The user then put the Sim’s urn in a room, and repeated the process. Every iteration of the character stayed awake at night, terrified by the ghosts of his predecessors.

15. Death by Woohoo.

Of course, I had to save the best for last.

If elderly Sims overexert themselves, they can die of exhaustion. One player took advantage of this, and decided to make their Sim Woohoo all the oldies to death.

Once the Grim Reaper showed up to collect them, the player would strike a conversation with him. The ultimate goal: Woohoo enough people to death so that the Sim can do the Woohoo with Death.

All of these make 10-year-old me seem tame by comparison. I need to step up my game.

– Tyler Roodt

Categories: Education