Sometimes toxic people come in the guise of good friends, and you might be blind to the fact that someone in your group isn’t actually all that good for you.
Reddit users came together to list the most common characteristics of a toxic person.
If these sound like your friends, consider dropping them like a hot potato.
1. You’re left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them.
‘You always leave them feeling emotionally drained’
2. They try to intimidate you to get their way
‘Use [of] intimidation or threats to get their way’
3. They try control you by guilt tripping
Guilt tripping (“you love me or you’re my friend so you have to do this thing for me” hell no I don’t, you don’t know how love works)
4. They are easily jealous
The manipulator is so jealous that they try to control the target in an unhealthy way. This one is tricky because not all boundaries are valid. Toxic people use ‘boundaries’ as a means of control, and then play the victim role when their ‘boundaries’ are crossed or not respected”-User Superfuntime.
He sited the example of forcing someone to cut off people or delete Facebook friends because it’s crossing their boundaries. It goes back to what I said about control.
5. They can’t take ‘no’
That’s a huge red flag that I wish I had acknowledged a year ago
6. They constantly see themselves as a victim
I have a friend who wonders why everyone leaves them and feels like they’re victimised constantly. Of course, one day I have enough of their bulls**t, call them on it, and all of a sudden, I’m ‘victimising’ them too. -SinOsc_440
7. They give backhanded compliments
Even when giving a compliment, it has to have a little negative on it.
8. They have no respect for boundaries
They step right over a boundary you’ve just laid down, no matter how simple. “I can’t eat raisins.”
“Go on, these are delicious, you have to eat them! EAT THEM! I’ll be so sad if you won’t eat these things you can’t eat.”
9. They are self-absorbed
This is a small sign that you don’t notice until it happens multiple times: They never ask about your life, they only call you when they need something or want to complain about their lives (which usually results in them needing something from you).
10. They overshare
Disclosing extremely personal or intimate information about themselves or others straight away.
Chances are they want your approval so badly they will bear any secret. The minute that they sense disapproval, however slight or imagined, they will turn on you and any information they have on you will be used in similar attempts to curry favour with future victims.
This article was first published in 2019