For those green-fingered horticulturalists with a natural affinity for cucumber cultivation, which may have resulted in an unexpectedly large harvest ahead of World Cucumber Day on 14 June, we offer additional cucumber uses.
After all, “waste not, want not” – though no use of the noble cucumiform fruit is ever as enjoyable as when it is served within a Hendrick’s Gin and Tonic.
If it was not yet self-evident, we have a greatly cultivated and manicured appreciation for cucumbers.
Ladies and gentlemen, we wish to make it absolutely understood that we do not refer to any form of flavoured mineral water or salad topping, but rather remarkable uses of the cucumber which accesses the natural goodness contained within its green exterior.
In much the same way as a well exhaled c-sharp note in a rigorous and passionate Italian opera soprano forte allegro may surprise you, so too will the following uses;
1. Multivitamin requirement?
Let thy be not be lead into the valley of deception by the green fruit’s watery composition; a cucumber contains a multitude of vitamins, including; Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, and less we forget, Zinc.
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2. Aaah! Freshly cucumbered
Concerned that any close proximity with others may reveal a potential foul breath on your part, or theirs? The cucumber offers an efficient and tasty solution.
Through the simple motion of pressing a slice of cucumber to your mouth palette (using the tongue apparatus conveniently located just below) for a mere 30 seconds, the phytochemicals contained within a cucumber eradicates the bacteria responsible for bad breath.
What a glorious titbit of tongue-and-palette cleansing information!
Never again fear being downwind in a close-proximity conversation.
3. Immaculately maintained footwear
While the eyes may be the window to the soul, the state of a person’s footwear is an indication of the worth of the journey.
However, if armed with a cucumber, your shoes may never again be a source of embarrassment.
For instant footwear refreshment, caress the shoe with slices of cucumber – its chemicals provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great magnificent, but also repels water.
4. A Cucumber-induced mid-afternoon revival
In desperate need of a burst of energy?
We suggest a cucumber – a great source of B vitamins and carbohydrates that can provide that afternoon pick-me-up.
It’s a secret the English have known for quite some time; cucumber sandwiches at tea provides the necessary nutrients required to keep calm, and carry on.
5. No time for a massage?
Stressed?
Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and will be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has scientifically demonstrated stress reducing effects.
6. An alcoholic over-indulgent?
We’ve been there too, but do not be perturbed – your cucumber will come to the rescue.
They contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients that your body has lost, keeping everything in balance. Eat a couple slices before bed and wake up headache free!
There you have it, now you know what to do with your extra cucumbers you have successfully cultivated.
Your harvest is proving to be so much more useful than you ever imagined they could be.
– Adapted from Hendrick’s Gin press release
