What happens when a couple tries to lose weight together? It can be the recipe for success… or a total disaster. Losing weight is difficult, and if someone feels alone during the process, lasting change may seem impossible. If a couple goes through the journey together, though, they can create healthier habits and strengthen their relationship.
Compare behaviours rather than numbers
Comparing body weight and/or kilograms lost isn’t the best way to go. This is especially important for women to remember, since men will likely lose weight quicker. If you want to compare, consider using behaviours and habits to gauge how you’re doing. Notice what your partner is doing well and use that to learn how you can improve.
Make competition useful
Competition is an effective motivator for many, but a couple needs to remember they’re on the same team! If every event turns into a competition, weight loss may be achieved, but the relationship might suffer. Instead, use competition to stay accountable and focused.
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Splurge versus sabotage
Treats and sweets are key to success, but moderation is essential. It’s important to realise that your splurges may be different from your partner’s. One person may want to sleep in and watch TV, while the other wants to take a walk. Everyone can enjoy a treat when they want it, but that doesn’t mean both partners need to participate. One may not want a treat that day. If one side of the couple feels obliged to splurge out of guilt, that can lead to resentment and arguments.
Loving honesty versus nag
While many excel at nagging, the recipient rarely enjoys being on the other side of that conversation. Having a partner who’s working for the food police can take the fun out of a romantic dinner! While a partner may be sincerely trying to help, too much scrutinising may cause the other half of the relationship to sabotage everything. Consider a calm, honest conversation, or even an e-mail or note to express thoughts and concerns.
There’s one indisputable truth about weight loss: One diet does not fit all. While a couple can be in this experience together, it doesn’t mean you have to follow the same plan. What you eat, how you exercise, your schedule and your goals can all be different. Respect that. Do what feels right to you even if your partner doesn’t agree or want to participate.
This is the most important. Losing weight is tough stuff! If a couple jumps into deprivation mode and creates a rigid and strict plan, it will likely not stick. There are ways to make this process enjoyable. Take a silly dance class together or go for a gorgeous walk or hike. Plan a date night that has nothing to do with eating healthy or splurging. Laugh a lot! Taking a moment to find some humour will help with the bumps in the road. – Washington Post
* Berman is a registered dietitian, a personal trainer and owner of Jae Berman Nutrition