In the wake of the passing of Rhodes University student Khensani Maseko, the seriousness of depression has been at the top of many conversations.
The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) offer the following suggestions with regards to helping a friend or loved one in need.
1. HELP the person to find out what their mental illness is and get treatment:
Go with your loved one to the clinic, doctor or counsellor to find out what is wrong.
2. SUPPORT GROUPS
Find out if there are any support groups in your area. Sharing fears, worries and feelings with other people who are in the same situation helps.
3. EDUCATE yourself about the mental illness
Depression is a disease. Learn about the illness. The more you know, the more you can help your loved one.
4. CARE and SUPPORT your loved one
Being with family and friends is very important for the person to get better. Always tell the person that you care and love them. Look at the good things in loved ones.
5. BE INCLUSIVE
Let the person be part of your life events. Invite your loved one to come with you and the rest of the family for walks, church and other activities you would normally do. Encourage your loved one to join in fun activities – both new events and things that the person enjoyed before they got depression.
6. DON’T FORCE the depressed person to cheer up
Depressed people have REAL feelings. The depressed person can’t just feel better. They are not weak or lazy.
7. LISTEN!
Listen to what your loved one says. Most depressed people want someone to listen to them. DO NOT leave the person out of family discussions because you think that it would be less stressful for them if they are not involved. Treat the person as normally as possible. Ask the person what they hope, fear, feel and need.
8. BE SUPPORTIVE
Support is very important – tell the person that asking for help is a sign of strength. Remind your loved one that he can always get treatment for their illness. Remind the depressed person that they WILL recover in time.
9. DON’T’ TREAT YOUR LOVED ONE LIKE A CHILD
Remember that the depressed person is not feeling their best and try to help out where you can. Don’t try to do everything for the depressed person – it is good for the person to do some things for themselves.
10. SUICIDE
If your loved one or friend talks about having thoughts of suicide, take it seriously and ask for help straight away.
If you or a loved one needs more information SADAG is available on 011 234 4837 or 0800 567 567 or even via sms on 31393.
