“There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn’t one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.”
― Marya Hornbacher

This is Sthabile’s story:

I am a *morbidly fat*, 22 year old woman. Reflecting on my childhood memories, I have always been one of the bigger girls out of my friends and classmates. It has been a constant thing, I don’t remember looking at my childhood album and seeing a skinnier “Me”.

I was the last person to be picked during gym classes. Some of my classmates didn’t even allow me to sit on their chairs with fear that I would break them.

I grew up in a culture that would deem my body shape as being “unattractive” I was regarded as a “special spirit”. Having my body type was a degrading categorization that implied that, the only thing worthwhile was my “special spirit “.

We are all much more than our bodies, but our bodies are a beautiful part of us too. Beauty comes from the inside and outside. I firmly believe that, every person is beautiful and so this leaves the inside to be a part that is the most telling when it comes to true beauty.

I allowed myself to fall in love with “Sthabile” and accept her body, I approved and accepted my body with the so called imperfections, real or perceived. Most people will never understand what it feels like for someone who carries extra weight around and has to live with it.

They will never understand how frustrating it is when people give you weird looks around the mall. I am always annoyed when people complain about being Fat, because its always someone thinner than you issuing that statement.

My response instead, is always this: “I never dream of being skinny, I am just Imperfectly Perfect in my own way”.
I was once affected by reactions towards my weight, but now I’m simply in love with me.

Instead of being offended, I just smile and think to myself, “Honey, you can’t handle all my awesomeness”.

People often say that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” but I say, “the most liberating is realising that you are the beholder”. True beauty is the inner feeling that reflects through your eyes. It is not something physical.

What is important, is to be happy from the inside.