Applying for a job is usually a stressful process. However transitioning from university into the working world, means that you have to go through this process, and figure it all out fast.
The Fantasy: 🦄
Students fantasize that after completing high school, they will enroll as a university student, graduate, get their dream job and pull a “Bye Felicia” stunt. Well…those are #fantasies.
Related Article: Why It Did Not Work With My Ex…
Reality:📢
Let me tell you about the real world…
It all goes something like this – you graduate after many falls, many sleepless nights, surviving on 2 minute noodles. You will continue to survive on noodles even after getting a job, especially the 5 days before pay day and trying to keep it together, penniless, whilst loads of fun events happen around you.
One more thing, if you were an A+ student in high school, university will humble you… Don’t worry though, the goal is just to simply pass and not shine bright like a diamond, because Shame! the world of work doesn’t entertain high grades more than they value experience.
The first step of job hunting is by creating a killer CV so that you can attract potential employers. When it comes to creating your CV, the first rule, is to create a unique CV that would make yours stand out from the rest of the applicants.
1. Provide Irrelevant work experience
If the current job title you are applying for does not directly link to your previous job experiences – just cut it out. Yes, you might have been a waitress during your school years; It doesn’t matter.
Remember you are applying for a job and not trying to friendzone your employer.
Therefore unless your personal information is relevant to the job title you are applying for, then you can include it. Otherwise, all your other irrelevant personal information that don’t have any link to the job you are applying for – Don’t include it. You may be proud that you won an award for the best football player in high school, if this information is not relevant to the job title, then leave all the clutter.
2. Blubbering with irrelevant personal information to the extreme (maybe that’s why you were never called for the job interview).
Sometimes we create these ridiculous CV’s out of pure desperation. We end up getting attention but the wrong kind of attention.
So if it’s not working, let’s rather leave it for 2016 and start preparing for our 2017 dream job with a bang. What you should NOT include in your CV…
3. Quit with the narcissistic pictures
“A picture tells a thousand words.”
Yes, this expression is true to a certain degree. When you apply for a job don’t expect your employer to choose you for your looks by adding pictures to your CV. Rather, refrain from adding pictures and rather summarise what you are offering in simple professional terms.
4. Wasting time and space by rambling on about your hobbies
To put it in simple terms, employers are nosy and would like to know more about your true personality than the self-made personalities, we usually create for CV’s – “I am a hard worker, goal orientated”.
Hobbies are not a compulsory element that you should include in your CV, you can only include it at the end of your CV, if you still have space at the end. While most elements of your CV tell the story of your qualifications and your career achievements, the hobbies and interest section reveals a little bit more of your personality.
It is not yet proven whether you should include hobbies that match with your post, we would advise that you rather play it safe and try to link your hobbies to the job. For example when applying for a journalism role, your hobbie could be that you love blogging or reading novels.
5. NO CAPS
Remember first impressions last right? The aim is to make an unforgettable impression that will make your potential employer say “Damn I need to employ him/her”.
This is only if you don’t suck at your interview (#hideface). Therefore when compiling your CV always highlight the important information on top, this will include your brief summary of your qualifications and work experience. Refrain from making your point by putting it all in CAPS. Don’t worry if it’s well written the employer will see it even though it’s all in lower case.
6. Misleading information
Obviously, the point is to be the brightest star in the sky.
This often means adding some Aromat to what you have actually done so that you may be recognised as the best candidate among the rest.
When manufacturing all that fancy information, remember that employers are not dumb, you will get caught and be sorry. Although all your lies might put you on the map, chances are that they might also catch up with you.
These days with the ever evolving technology, employers can catch you with the fancy information that is fabricated, try to tell the truth with the following when you are creating your CV: Job titles & achievements.
7. Short stories-
This is a CV CV’s are not your opportunity to tell the short story of your life. Rememebr you are not the only person is applying for the same post. Try to stop writing long and waffly CV’s, rather keep your CV short, straight to the point and well formatted.What does this mean, some might
be ask? This means that you should keep your CV a maximum of 2 pages long. However if you are a student that just graduated rather make it a 1 page document, or else you will end up waffling with nonsensical information.Those who have been in the working game for long, instead of describing your 30 years work experience rather write about your most recent job work experience to avoid a short story like – “I started working from 1920 as a receptionist, and then 1930 I started manufacturing type writers”. Save all that, for your grand children’s bed time stories.
Long CV’s are boring and exhausting.
Was it your A+ or your CV that got you the job?
