JOHANNESBURG – Most people have encountered them – those friends who are actually not your friends, but for some reason you keep them around because, well, keep your friends close…
Here’s the thing about frenemies though, you don’t have to hate them – instead, appreciate them. I know what you are thinking: “Why on earth would I appreciate someone who only pretends to be my friend and expects me to fail.
Here’s the deal, sometimes you need negative people who say one thing to your face and act differently behind your back in order to gain a positive outlook on life and yourself. Frenemies are an essential part of your social life and here’s why:
They’ll teach you that not everyone celebrates in your good fortune
Frenemies are in constant competition with you, they don’t want to see you succeed, nor when you do succeed, your success should not surpass theirs.
You will learn to love yourself
“I love how you don’t care how you come across” seeing as backhanded compliments are an art that your frenemy masters. Having experience in this type of situation teaches you to have “thick skin” and makes you appreciate yourself as you realise that people’s opinions about you are only as relevant as you let them be.
People say things about you all the time, so what?
Gossiping is something that almost everyone does whether they do it intentionally or unintentionally, but your frenemy revels in gossiping about you. Always remember that it’s people who are unhappy with themselves that have the need to talk about you behind your back so as to make themselves feel better. (Pretty cliché, right?!)
Hey, people change
At some point your frenemy was actually your friend but they become green with jealousy – maybe you are smarter or prettier than them or you can eat 10 burgers within an hour, whatever the case may be. You need to understand that in most cases when someone has a problem with you, the issue is not with you, it’s with themselves, so try not to take it personally.
You’ll need to dump their a** at some point
Having someone around as negative as a frenemy will only ruin you. It can make you lose your self-esteem, doubt yourself or even worse, their negative traits will begin to rub off on you. Therefore, as much as you learn from those friends who love to hate you, it’s best you let them hate you from a far by cutting the cord.